New Boundaries

20 03 2009

I’m beginning to realise what a total blessing it is to have decided to move on from my old life, and to have redrawn the boundaries much more firmly.

There’s a new clarity to my thought process. Before, when someone I cared about said or promised something, I would extemporise; I’d hear what they said, and immediately bolster it or pad it out with all the things I’d wished they’d say. I made the half promise, the lukewarm thanks,  the semi-devoted utterance do, because I thought I would get no better.

Well, that’s one way to live, and many do it every day; stretching threadbare, perfunctory regard from their other to try to cover widening cracks in their own self-esteem and mental health. I’ve done it. I hated it – and resolved with the Goddess’s strength never to do it again.

Nobody is worth that sort of abasement. Nobody loves you, if they love you so little that you’re at the bottom of the pile when their time is being apportioned.

One of the most valuable things we can give our friends and our lovers is our time. Unstintingly, generously, without running the clock. I needed help last night. My friends were there for me. I texted my friend, and immediately got a call. Another friend left messages for me overnight to ask if I was all right. This is what I do for my friends; this is what my true friends do for me.

So if people tell me they love me now, I listen precisely to what they say, and to nothing else. I measure their worth by their actions and I do not indulge myself in wishful thinking. Everyone has the responsibility to be excellent to their friends, to make the message of love they carry for them easily read and unmistakably strong. There is no room in this scenario for ‘perhaps….’. It should be a yes. A YES!

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8 responses

20 03 2009
Tess

A very moving and wise post. Sounds like you’re living bravely and honestly. Bravo!

20 03 2009
The Green Witch

Thank you Tess – it’s just been reinforced by something that has happened to yet a third friend, and I was able to jump in and make a difference. Thank goodness, thank Goddess!

20 03 2009
starofseshat

You have always made the difference for me. You are my Boudica. Strong when I am weak, as I hope that I am strong when you are weak.

Thank you for this morning.

I love you.

Seshat

20 03 2009
Brian Charles

Very well put! Can say no more than that!

20 03 2009
The Green Witch

Seshat, my Dark Madonna, you are always there for me, at whatever cost to yourself. The least I can do is return the favour – and indeed it is my pleasure.

I love you too.

20 03 2009
The Green Witch

Brian, thank you! This topic is close to my heart today…

21 03 2009
louisey

So very inspiring to read you — and being able to reach out and ask for help when you need it is the flip side of the coin, isn’t it?

Love

Mary in Africa

21 03 2009
The Green Witch

So true, my darling. xxXx

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