Thank Goddess for normality

26 01 2009

I’ve faced my demons over the weekend, made my peace, made apologies where they were due, received apologies I know to be heartfelt, made promise of reparations where this is required, and let go my anger. And in the process I have come to understand the reasons for things, and to forgive, and to allow others to be different, act differently and feel differently to what I consider to be the norm.

I am grateful for the ability to be dispassionate. I am pleased to see I can be angry, but not let it drag me down to baser behaviour than is my wont. I am relieved that the anger can howl and storm, wear itself out and vanish. The working Seshat and I did opened my eyes, and released the pent-up well of emotion that was damaging me inside. I may be empty now, ashes where once I was fire, but I’m clean.

I shall be working for calm and for caring and contentment. I am reserving 2009 for myself, and my own concerns; personal development, counselling, enlightenment and learning. I’ve needed a year like this, of semi-enforced solitude, for more years than I can count and now I actually have the prospect of it I’m really excited. It just goes to show what it takes to get me to calm down, step off the merry-go-round and take some time for myself – it basically takes a bomb going off in my life to make me shut up and take stock. The wild internal yammer of other stuff, other people, other calls on my time  wears me out and has brought me literally to the brink of collapse. I’m back from the edge, now taking stock, and slowly and tentatively reconnecting with my inner Goddess, and those Goddesses, spiritual and embodied, around me. Painful. But necessary.

I add a postscript here to take into account the wise words by Marya at African Alchemy – isn’t it amazing how someone usually says what you’re thinking, but in such an elegant way it makes twice as much sense? Boundaries. Seshat and I have been discussing boundaries and I have work by her to catch up on at Star of Seshat regarding this very topic. If only I had set my priorities at formulating effective boundaries, I feel that the latest experience in my trial by fire could not have happened. Older, wiser, scorched round the edges and a rueful learner I am!

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5 responses

26 01 2009
Moonfeather

The Goddess has reached her hand through the clouds and veil between the worlds and into your heart. That is the growing warmth that you feel along with the growing calmness inside. It brings peace and the assurance that all will be well in the Temple inside of you and the Spirit will, again, grow within. Reach back and touch fingers and enjoy the energy that is shared. You are blessed. Bright Blessings!

26 01 2009
The Green Witch

Moonfeather, that is honestly one of the loveliest things anyone has said to me, and I hope and feel it to be true. I’m doing the reaching – worried about getting my fingers burned lol but doing it nonetheless!

Blessings xXx

26 01 2009
Andy

Moonfeather – forgive my cheek, but I have also claimed your words for myself, I hope that’s okay?!? What amazing words, and GW, what a gift they are for you! GW, don’t reach as such, just accept the touch and return it. Such simple words, but oh, so hard to do at times!

x

27 01 2009
Leon

Hey, how are you doing? Hope all is well.

27 01 2009
The Green Witch

Andy, you’re right. And this is quite apposite a post by you here – I’ve been told a couple of times over the past week that I try too hard, that I hang on too tight. At first, I didn’t want to hear this, but I realise the truth of it in fact. Something to take on as a project, perhaps, for the first quarter of this year…

Leon – good to see you here, blessings! I’m well, and thank you for asking.

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