Temptation (lead us not into…)

22 04 2008

Being high-minded about the ethics of Wicca and witchcraft is easy enough in principle. There’s quite a sharp divide between poor and unethical behaviour, and the way one should behave, given an unlimited supply of patience and an unerring eye for the long view. But in practice, it can get difficult quickly.

If I had no restraining principles I’d be casting circles for an unlimited amount of money to come my way, plus a new job, and there’d be some fairly heavy revenge spells scudding about the atmosphere as well. Medieval vengeance spings to mind. I’m so furious, and feel so impotent and defeated, that I’d be prepared to try anything to break the nexus of unpleasantness that has gathered over my head.

Problems obviously exist with this wild Wiccan master-plan; firstly, when I was young and foolish I tried the old money spell, from desperation and an impending sense of poorness; all that happened was that the intended effect neatly sidestepped me, veered off ninety degrees and hit a friend smack between the eyes, who promptly got a new job and a new house. I ate dirt.

Secondly, I know it’s not an option because it’s wrong. Period.

The people I seek revenge on deserve it, probably, but it’s not up to me to decide how that vengeance should fall, or even if it should. All it falls to me to do is to learn from the experience and not let it prostrate me. As for the money, I’m not starving, nor am I destitute. I’ve always been nervous about money and concerned that there’s not enough to go around; time and again I have to remember that my childhood, and the sometimes straitened circumstances of that time, don’t help me feel secure when things are rocky. Again, learn and get over it.

In the end I get caught up in the feeling of unfairness. A childish, inchoate feeling that a grown-up shouldn’t admit to. And yet..

Goddess guide me better, clearer; help my mind become calm and serene, and raise me up above these petty torments. I know they’ll pass in time.

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15 responses

22 04 2008
The Shepton Witch

Errr, last time I looked, we didn’t have a Fransiscan order in The Craft. Step back and read what you have written, then think about it logically. I was having a moan to you the other day about wanting work and you were more than happy to send out a good wish for me, so why don’t you deserve it? Who says it’s good and holy to be poor? Your Christian roots are showing.

There isn’t anything commendable or good about being skint and why shouldn’t it feel unfair? Life is unfair at times and it’s no good biting your lip and making a bad time even worse by not allowing yourself to feel just a bit hard done by. I don’t suggest wallowing, but where’s the merit in holding your upper lip stiff and thinking everyone else deserves and you don’t? Good Goddess, time for a boot up the Green Witch bum!

As for the revenge, I can’t comment. It’s not the most evolved emotion but I have not been the greatest (not recently I’m happy to say) in curbing my desire… no, need, to make things a little fairer on my planet. Only you will know what’s right here (but remember, being a Christian is like being an alcoholic – it can sneak up and bite you on the bum).

More to the point, if you’ve been feeling this crappy and miserable, why didn’t you call me? I thought that’s what friends were for…

22 04 2008
fox

Sending you loads of hugs and positive energy to help you through!!

23 04 2008
The Green Witch

You know me, constitutionally unable to ask for help. I will call you tonight and bend your bally ear for you!! Thanks for the offer! 🙂

23 04 2008
The Green Witch

Thank you my Foxy. I need all the help I can get just now. That bracelet’ll certainly help too!!

23 04 2008
The Shepton Witch

You can call daytimes – a little light relief from re-sizing images would be very welcome! 😀

23 04 2008
fox

You know, things change when you speak up and have a nice long talk with the Universe, telling her you are done being stepped on. Let her know that you are ready to say how your life should be instead of having others dictate to you what they think it should be. You will find, rather quickly I might add, that she will give it to you.

23 04 2008
fox

I also vaguely recall a similar conversation about allowing friends to be friends on another blog quite recently. Boy, both you ladies are stubborn, and with each other no less!! 😀

23 04 2008
The Shepton Witch

LOL Foxy, it’s the nature of us Englishers! We’re absolutely rubbish at being as up-front as many of the Americans I know. We dither about, dress things up in euphemisms and never quite say what we mean. It’s not that we set out to deceive or do anything wrong, but it’s the way we are culturally; it’s not necessarily the best, but hey!

Don’t worry, I shall make sure we talk and I shall tell TGW all my dreadful jokes till she laughs just to get me off the phone! 😀

23 04 2008
The Green Witch

…. it worked! *groo!* 🙂

23 04 2008
fox

Haha! Glad to hear! I only wish we were closer so I could add my ear and peskyness to the mix!

24 04 2008
beweaver

Well! What interesting posts everyone is writing the last couple days! I think the one thing I’ve struggled with the most in this life is what you write here:

“There’s quite a sharp divide between poor and unethical behaviour, and the way one should behave”

I’m so tired of the shoulds. *sigh* And I guess it’s showing. *laugh*

24 04 2008
The Green Witch

Fox, SW and I were only saying the same last night! We’d love to swoop outta the sky and visit with you! The thought was mooted that you’d never get over having two mad English women on your porch. But what an experience 🙂

Beweaver, ‘should’ is the word that runs my life. But as SW said to me the other day, enough of the guilt! Sometimes, ‘shoulda’ only limits you. The truly wise witch picks her moment to rebel….

24 04 2008
fox

Haha!! Oh, I would dearly love that! I don’t think that is an experience anyone is ever supposed to “get over”. It is supposed to stick with you as an enriching moment in your life. Now hubby, that is another matter entirely!

24 04 2008
The Shepton Witch

Hmmm, if we deleted ‘should’ and ‘ought’ from our vocabularies, we would lead such interesting lives. We would either have to say we will do it or we will not do it. Should and ought are a great way of prevaricating or opting out. They are also dreadful taskmasters. How many of us are brave enough to say “X is the right thing to do, but I’m too tired/not bothered enough/too lazy (*delete as applicable) to do it.” Very few I suspect. The trouble is, it makes the people with consciences beat themselves up and the people with no consciences use it as a means of not committing just yet.

Bugger ‘should’; it is a bane. 😀

27 04 2008
The Green Witch

I couldn’t agree more!

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