14 04 2008

Despite the vicissitudes of the weekend, I feel good. Calmer, more in control. I’ve reviewed my conduct and been honest with myself, and find I have little to reproach myself for. This is a change from how I used to react to things like this; the automatic response was to blame myself and descend into a welter of guilt and self-recrimination. Being stronger and more self-critical now I can see that while I have some small points to correct, I am essentially not at fault.

So I’m moving on, thanking the Goddess for my clear head, and just going to work and doing my job as well as I can within the limits created for me.

PP helped enormously – I had a coffee summit with her yesterday afternoon, and she clarified some points for me about the way others could potentially view what I do. SW was also of great assistance – both these ladies have a commonsensical approach that I like to think I have – but not where my own issues are concerned!




2 responses

14 04 2008
The Shepton Witch

It’s always easy to be objective and common-sensical when it’s not happening at home, and I’m just the same – a bit lame when it comes to applying sense to my own situation! I’m glad you’re feeling better – no job is worth getting that upset over, unless it is your own business.

Someone once told me that leaving a job is like taking a spoon out of a bucket. While you’re in there you may cause a stir, but the moment you’re out, the liquid closes and there’s no trace that you ever existed. It was a hard thing to hear in the circumstance that I heard it, but it stuck with me and seemed to make a great deal of sense. Being ready to shrug, walk away and say “Hey! I’m better than this, so stick it” has become very easy and by holding on to that frame of mind, I don’t seem to need to use it because there is more concern to keep me happy and where I am than for me to dance to the tune.

Every relationship, be it love, friendship or work, had a balance of power and neediness. All the time you feel fine about walking away from something and letting go of it, you hold that power. It may sound harsh, but that’s how things work; however we dress it up in euphemism. Just make sure they realise what a nightmare it will be if you walk! 😀

14 04 2008
The Green Witch

Thank you Mereth, my dear. You are right of course – the balance of power lies with the person pepared to do what’s necessary to change the situation. I am she!! 🙂 (feels good).

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