Did you read the Rede?!

8 01 2008

Despite all the clear signposting on my principal forum, despite all the mentoring and the discussions and the sharing of knowledge, it seems that some cannot find the basic courtesy to either a) play the game the way it’s written or b) avoid kicking other members if they’re the slightest bit down.

This stinks.

I had to lock a topic yesterday because certain members were forgetting their manners and laying into other contributors, and all this does is piss me right off. It was a sensible discussion of a very complex and emotionally stirring topic and there’s always got to be someone who takes it up, runs with it and takes it somewhere unneccessary.

Where; tell me, where is the problem in allowing someone their own point of view and being able to accommodate that; and then describing your own point of view in unemotional language suitable to the topic, without introducing red herrings or items deliberately placed to upset others?

How Wiccan, or indeed polite, is it to do otherwise?

There are quite a few non-team-players who could do with a swift lesson in group etiquette and a reminder that they don’t own the space they occupy on the site – it is provided for them, free of charge, by the hard work and ingenuity of two people who still have regular jobs.

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9 responses

9 01 2008
thefoxchild

No matter your religion or your spiritual path, there are those that do not like to be wrong and others that just thrive off of conflict and chaos. The beauty of online forums is that it can bring these amazingly thick people out in droves. As much as I love the connection these things bring, I also despise the heartache and stress those kinds of people bring into it.

9 01 2008
wiccanwanderings

How true, foxchild. And how sad it is that people can’t moderate their behaviour to fit in with the people they find themselves amongst!

Luckily, the administrators of the site will stand no nonsense and they’re quite prepared to bounce IP addresses if they have to. Why let the few spoil the place for the enjoyment of the many?

These sorts of people cannot be permitted to ride roughshod but must be brought to a right understanding of their misdemeanours.

*can’t you see me, little glasses and wagging finger, grey hair in a bun?!!*

9 01 2008
wiccanwanderings

… and by the way, thank you very much for visiting and I’m glad to welcome you here, foxchild!

10 01 2008
Mereth

*canโ€™t you see me, little glasses and wagging finger, grey hair in a bun?!!*

Oh yes! Most assuredly, I can. I trust you already have the tweed skirt, hand knitted twin set and horn rimmed spectacles?

Nice to meet you Foxchild. Yes, the internet seems to give the less thoughtful so many opportunities to upset others and the amount of brain cells and dearth of compassion seem in direct but inverse proportion to the volume of their voices. I’m happy to say that between The Green Witch, a few trusted others and I, we manage to keep the tone polite even in disagreement, even though it means the occasional foaming at the mouth by me and a more articulate rant by TGW.

My frustration is that I wish I did not have to remedy the situation in the first place. Goodness only knows that there are enough people and groups out there spreading ill will, disinformation and unkindness, without us doing it to our own. Call me an idealist, but wouldn’t our energies be better used to take a bit of enlightenment, some good will and compassion out to those who don’t know any better, rather than verbally mauling the people they should be standing shoulder to shoulder with?

There are times I read the writings and thoughts of the Dalai Lama and feel humbled at the wisdom and insight that man is capable of and then I read the forums on my own site and marvel at the sheer diversity in intelligence that your species is capable of.

10 01 2008
wiccanwanderings

I have all the requisite attire, including a pipe and spyglass ๐Ÿ™‚

Our energies would indeed be better so used. When will people realise that the time is short, that none of us have enough years left to be able to pull it together next year, or the year after. NOW is the time to change, now is the time to try harder, to be better. I think some of these people lack perspective.

Every moment we spend in pursuing unkindness towards another person is a moment in our own journey that has been completely and utterly wasted. We’ve learned nothing. We’ve grown not one iota.

It’s there, plainly written in the Rede. Send out the bread of kindness and compassion upon the waters and it will return to you three-fold. It’s not philosophy. Just maths.

10 01 2008
thefoxchild

One thing to remember through it all is to be gentle with yourselves as well as others. We are, after all, only human.

10 01 2008
wiccanwanderings

So true, foxchild. I think I, in particular, get aerated about this because I’ve been there; intolerant, snappish, rude. It’s easy to settle for that level of interaction and hard to break the habit. I guess in a way I’m proselytising – I can’t resist sharing the idea that people can change if they want to. But everyone’s got to go their own way, no? And we all deserve a break now and again! ๐Ÿ™‚

10 01 2008
Mereth

It’s a hard one, that, Foxchild. I often have discussions with my beloved about being gentle. I don’t know if it was my upbringing, environment or nature, but I can’t be content easily. It is part of my make-up to push and push and try ever harder.

I take the view that if I got X far, then I can probably push myself a little further and get to Y and if I can make it to Y, then there’s no reason, with my boot up my own derriere, that I can’t make it to Z. According to beloved, I am far too hard on myself. I can see what he means, but life is short and complacency is something that gives me the heeby-jeebies. I feel uncomfortable around too much complacency and so want to drive myself forward so that I don’t achieve that state. Given the choice, I’d rather be remembered for pushing myself too hard, rather than being too easy on myself.

I do believe that people have the power to change. It is one of the things that makes us such powerful creatures and magicians if we just work at it. Never mind turning lead to gold, turning a base human into the best they can be (by their own hand) is much more powerful alchemy IMHO!

11 01 2008
wiccanwanderings

Similar, Mereth. Mr Wanderings also tries to get me to be easier on myself. Not easy!

Complacency – so easy to fall into, so hard to avoid, so damaging if left unchallenged. If you question yourself a healthy amount it can only be a force for positive change.

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